UK Registered DoctorsWhy do I keep losing my erection during sex? Why it happens and what you can do about it
No matter what people tell you, every man has occasional problems getting or keeping an erection during sex.
Erections depend on the complex interaction between the brain, body and environment. If any part of this system is disrupted, your erection can fade.
Around 40% of men over 40 regularly experience a weak erection during sex. And this chance increases by about 10% per decade thereafter.
But even in studies of fit, healthy young men, 8% of those aged 20-29 and 11% of those aged 30-39 often have trouble getting it up.
Most of the time, losing your erection during sex isn’t a sign of a medical issue. There are plenty of other physical, psychological and situational factors at play – many of which you can solve with simple changes.
However, if you can’t stay hard with a partner in more than 50% of sexual encounters for 4 weeks or more, it’s recommended that you talk to your doctor.
Tackling problems early makes losing your erection during sex much easier to solve. And it keeps your difficulties from evolving into erectile dysfunction.
In the meantime, you can continue enjoying a healthy, active sex life with oral treatments like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. These give you the space and confidence you need to solve what’s troubling you without worrying about satisfying sexual partners.
At The Online Clinic, you can get effective sexual health treatments without an existing prescription or a face-to-face appointment.
Simply start your free, no-obligation and fully confidential online consultation to request a prescription for licensed and regulated sexual wellness support.
Why do I go soft midway?
Psychological reasons
- Stress: High levels of stress trigger the release of cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that interfere with sexual arousal. Your body shifts into ‘fight or flight’ mode where sex is seen as a low priority
- Anxiety: Performance anxiety is one of the leading causes of losing an erection during sex. When you’re worrying about not satisfying your partner or sudden loss of erection, it’s much harder to enjoy the moment
- Body image: Men who are self-conscious about their body – whether it’s weight, penis size or muscle tone – can mentally withdraw during sex. This distraction interferes with arousal and focus
- Depression: Chronic low mood dulls libido, blunts pleasure and causes fatigue. These all make it harder to stay sexually engaged, even when you feel strong physical attraction
Physical causes
- Poor circulation: Strong erections rely on healthy blood flow. If your circulation is compromised by smoking, high blood pressure or a sedentary lifestyle, it’ll be more likely that you can’t stay hard with a partner
- Alcohol: Booze is a depressant that impairs nerve sensitivity and blood flow. In higher amounts, it’s one of the most common reasons why an erection fades during sex
- Distractions: Unexpected noises, housemates, pets or worrying about other things can all distract you from sex. Once your focus fades away, so will your erection
- Porn use: Frequent exposure to high-intensity pornography or compulsive masturbation can desensitise your brain’s natural arousal pathways. As a result, real-life sexual encounters might not generate enough novelty to stimulate you
- Medications: Certain prescription drugs like antidepressants, blood pressure medications, antihistamines and some heart medications affect blood flow, hormone levels and nerve sensitivity. This can make it so you can’t stay hard with a partner
Situational causes
- New partner nerves: The excitement of a new sexual partner is often mixed with insecurity or fear of judgement. This tension can override arousal and cause your erection to fade
- Lack of attraction: If you’re not physically, emotionally or intellectually attracted to a sexual partner, getting and keeping an erection can be difficult. Even if your body responds to initial stimulation, you might find that your erection goes away during sex
- Guilt or shame: Cheating on a partner or breaking cultural or religious taboos can make sex feel morally conflicting. That discomfort can suppress sexual desire midway and cause erection loss during penetration
- Lack of arousal: Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood. When you’re tired, bored, preoccupied or you just don’t want to have sex, your body won’t respond
Can you fix erection problems without medication?
Unless there’s an underlying medical condition or it’s due to age, you can usually regain control of your erections without relying on medication.
Losing your erection during sex is often caused by mental, lifestyle or environmental factors. And it’s often fairly straightforward to work these out with the right habits and mindset.
However, many men find medication helpful as a temporary measure. With supportive sexual health treatments, you can continue enjoying a healthy sex life while you work on what’s causing weak erections.
Start your free consultation with The Online Clinic to find out if medication is right for you.
6 simple ways to fix erection problems naturally
1) Avoid performance pressure
Advertising, pornography and racy stories between friends have conditioned us to expect perfect sex every time. This pressure to perform is unrealistic and can cause ongoing performance anxiety in men.
Rather than focusing on a specific goal, focus instead on connection, intimacy and exploration. When you let go of the “goal” of sex like penetration or orgasm, you’ll often find your erection takes care of itself.
2) Have an open conversation
Sometimes, the tension isn’t in your body – it’s in your relationship. So if something’s bothering you or your sex life isn’t satisfying you, be open and honest with your partner.
Opening up about your feelings can dissolve anxiety and build emotional intimacy. This removes the fear of “failing” and often leads to better arousal and trust.
3) Prioritise foreplay
Trying to jump straight to penetration doesn’t give your body long enough to recognise and respond to arousal. Longer, slower foreplay helps you and your partner get fully mentally and physically engaged.
Kissing, touching, oral sex and sensual exploration are often where the strongest arousal occurs. Foreplay reduces pressure, reaffirms your ability to pleasure your partner and gives your body time to prepare for penetrative sex.
4) Look after your physical health
Your cardiovascular system, hormones and energy levels all play a role in sexual function. So improving your overall physical health can have a big impact on your erections.
Regular exercise, a balanced diet and quality sleep not only enhance your libido but also help you perform better in bed. Quitting smoking and limiting alcohol use also removes obstacles that may be sabotaging your ability to stay hard.
5) Manage stress
Chronic stress keeps your body in survival mode, not sexual mode. The high cortisol levels and constant overthinking associated with stress suppress your libido and weaken erections.
Solving specific causes of stress, exercising, getting outside in the sun and fresh air, and taking time away from screens all help reset your nervous system. As you start to relax, you’ll notice your sexual function improve over time.
6) Limit porn use
Frequent use of porn can rewire your brain to only respond to certain kinds of stimulations. It conditions you to get aroused when you’re looking at images on a screen, not when you’re with a real sexual partner.
If your erection fades during sex but it’s easy to get hard for porn, try cutting back or taking a full break. This can help reawaken your natural arousal patterns and restore your sensitivity to physical and emotional intimacy.
When to consider a medical solution
Your erection fades during sex regularly
If you’re losing your erection during sex more than half the time for 4 weeks or more, it’s a sign that there might be a persistent issue.
Your doctor will recommend treatments, therapies or lifestyle changes based on why you can’t stay hard with a partner. With their advice, you can find fast and effective solutions to your problems.
Erectile dysfunction is also one of the first noticeable symptoms of serious health risks like heart disease and diabetes. So getting checked early might just save your life.
You’re losing your erection even when you’re alone
Losing your erection during sex can point to emotional stress or performance pressure.
But if you struggle to get or maintain an erection even during masturbation, where there are no expectations, your problem might be worse than you think.
This could be happening due to pornography addiction. But it might point to a more serious physical issue. Speaking openly with your doctor lets you determine the cause and take effective steps to restore your sexual prowess.
If anxiety makes it worse
If anxiety is a recurring barrier to the point where you begin to dread sex or avoid intimacy, it’s time to consider professional support.
Options like sex therapy, counselling and developing healthy habits can help you overcome your mental obstacles. And medications like Viagra, Cialis or Vardenafil restore your sexual health so you can rebuild your confidence in bed.
Start your free, confidential consultation with a UK-licensed doctor at The Online Clinic to access regulated sexual health treatments – no face-to-face meeting required.
Treatments for better erectile control
Viagra
Viagra (which uses the active ingredient sildenafil) expands the blood vessels in the penis to support a stronger erection. It’s one of the most trusted and widely used sexual health treatments, with a success rate of 91%.
You typically take Viagra 30-60 minutes before sex. And it lasts for around 4-6 hours.
Cialis
Clinical trial data shows that Cialis (tadalafil) has a much longer period of effectiveness than Viagra. It lasts for about 36 hours, letting you enjoy much greater spontaneity compared to other oral sexual health aids.
These treatments don’t forcibly give you an erection, but rather support your body’s ability to respond properly to sexual stimulation. So you don’t need to worry about having a persistent erection for the full effective period of Cialis.
Levitra
Although the Levitra brand has been discontinued, it is still available generically as Vardenafil. For most people, Levitra (vardenafil) works just as well as Viagra. But it’s proven more effective in some difficult-to-treat cases.
Even if you don’t respond to Viagra, there’s a high chance that you’ll find success with Levitra instead.
Get safe, discreet sexual health treatment online
As one of the UK’s leading online healthcare providers with over 20 years’ experience, The Online Clinic supports thousands of men with safe, effective sexual health treatments.
We’re one of the few outlets that fully complies with the strict regulations of both the Medicines and Healthcare Regulatory Agency (MHRA) and the General Pharmaceutical Council (GPC). And we’re regulated by the Care Quality Commission (CQC) to ensure you receive the highest standards of care.
Using a trusted and regulated provider like The Online Clinic means you receive genuine, medically approved treatments with oversight from UK-licensed doctors.
There’s no need for a face-to-face consultation or an existing prescription. Simply register as a patient and complete a short medical health questionnaire, and your doctor will prescribe a suitable treatment.
As a private service, we’re able to respond much more quickly than the NHS. And we have less-stringent criteria to qualify for sexual health treatment.
But rest assured that we only prescribe medications when there’s a genuine reason to do so. And you can book a follow-up appointment at any time to discuss your healthcare.
We usually respond within 30-60 minutes during regular working hours (7:30 am-10:00 pm). And all orders received on our system by 3:30 pm Monday-Friday (bank holidays excluded) are dispatched on the same business day with options for next-day delivery.
Your order will arrive in discreet packaging with no mention of The Online Clinic or its contents. So you can have confidence in a fast, reliable and confidential service throughout.
11,800+ positive patient experiences
|
Sildenafil at a reasonable price The Online Clinic was recommended to me by a friend. I was looking for Viagra or sildenafil at a reasonable price but wanted to use a UK website that was trustworthy. Everything went smoothly and my package arrived the next day as promised. The products are genuine and reasonably priced. Martin P |
Sexual health starts with a consultation
Register as a patient and start your free consultation with a UK-licensed doctor for prescription sexual wellness treatments that help you keep your erection.
Losing erection during sex frequently asked questions
Why can’t I stay hard during sex?
Stress, distractions, performance pressure or physical issues like poor circulation or fatigue can all interrupt your ability to maintain an erection.
Can alcohol cause you to lose an erection?
Alcohol is a depressant, meaning it can interfere with nerve sensitivity, blood flow and arousal. Heavy drinking is one of the most common short-term causes of losing an erection during sex.
Does this mean I have erectile dysfunction?
Not necessarily. But if you have problems getting an erection in more than half of your sexual encounters for more than 4 weeks, it’s recommended that you speak with a doctor.
Can I fix this without medication?
Many men improve erection quality by managing stress, cutting back on porn, reducing alcohol, exercising regularly and communicating openly with their partner. But sexual health medications like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra can help you enjoy an active sex life while you solve the underlying problems.
Why do I keep going soft midway during sex?
It may be due to performance anxiety, excessive stress, overstimulation from porn use or simply not feeling in the mood. But erection problems can also indicate physical issues like heart disease or diabetes. A convenient online consultation with a UK-licensed doctor can help you understand what’s getting in the way.
Is it normal to lose your erection during sex?
Yes, it’s more common than most men realise. Occasional loss of erection doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It only becomes a concern when it’s frequent, persistent and affecting your confidence or relationships.
Can anxiety cause you to lose your erection?
Anxiety – especially performance anxiety – is one of the most common causes of erection loss during sex. The more you worry about staying hard, the more likely it is to interfere with arousal. But it’s very treatable with the right approach.
How do I stop losing my erection with my partner?
Start by taking the pressure off penetration and focus on foreplay, connection and communication. Limit distractions, avoid rushing and talk openly with your partner if something’s bothering you.
Addressing lifestyle factors like sleep, stress and alcohol can also help. But if your erection fades during sex regularly, consider seeking guidance from a doctor.
Useful resources for sexual health
National Health Service
MedlinePlus
Mayo Clinic
Healthline
Harvard Health
WebMD
Related Pages
Obesity News
High Levels of Overweight in 40 - 60 Age Group
The older we get, the better care we have to take of ourselves - that's the message drummed into us by everyone from doctors to TV personalities. But, while it's well known that your risk for serious conditions such as cancer and cardiovascular disease increases as you age, it's also a universally…
Read full article >New Weight Loss Studies
What happens to our weight when we lose it? Researchers from the University of New South Wales now think that the majority of our weight loss is breathed out in the form of CO2. Their statements are evidenced in a paper published in The BMJ. The common believe is that the fat is converted into…
Read full article >Obesity Programme in Denmark Shows Success
An official list of rules has been drawn up by a Danish paediatrician, Dr. Holm, specializing in childhood obesity, and is known as The Children's Obesity Clinic's Treatment protocol. He is thought to have helped approximately 1,300 obese children lose weight since he first launched his trial in…
Read full article >
